just survived the first fart of the relationship.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We have started to decorate penises.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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