Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
pray to the hookup gods
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
