i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
