Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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