Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
