dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
