They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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