And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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