So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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