youre lurking in front of me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
