Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
