I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
