i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
