Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
