You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
