his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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