i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
