Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
