Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
