he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
