You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
