no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
