Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The struggles of a small town man whore
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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