even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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