Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
