she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
