Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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