I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
