so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
