I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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