Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
A+ Viking dick
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
