i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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