I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
