i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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