I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
