That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm having to shit out rocks
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
