Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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