someone get that fucking seahorse.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
