NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
