After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
