Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
