Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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