Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So much rum. So many feels.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
