Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
