My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
