Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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