Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you have to choose: penises or morals?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
