whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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