quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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