Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i drank out of a bidet.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
