He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
