The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
